What is the groom’s role at a wedding? The answer will vary…
Engaged couples put a lot of work into ensuring the perfect day to remember when planning their wedding. As any parent will tell you, nothing threatens perfection and meticulous planning quite like children. Kids at a wedding can add a lot, for better or worse; inviting them can be a double-edged sword.
Couples should consider a few things before they ban or invite children to their wedding. A kid ban may seem like a no-brainer since you want the adults present to have a good time. You don’t need to worry about little hands ruining elegant table settings, or baby cries ruining your first dance.
Kids are likely a given if you have a large family, are a parent, or kids are in the ceremony. You may not have a choice regarding kids at your wedding; the immediate family may boycott if their kids are unwelcome.
Furthermore, different cultures and traditions might place a different emphasis on the role and expectations of kids. Check out some multi-cultural wedding traditions here.
Let’s break down the pros and cons of kids at weddings. Some advantages may not have occurred to you. Likewise, some drawbacks may not have entirely dawned on you.
Whichever option you choose, we offer tips for how to go about both the kid-free and kid-friendly wedding. Get a free quote today and let us help you plan a wedding you will love attending.
We won’t dwell on the cons here too much. The problems associated with kids at a more formal function are pretty self-evident. Kids can be loud, messy, and run around where they don’t belong; they require a lot of attention.
That doesn’t mean kids at a wedding are a net negative, however.
When a couple decides to invite kids to their wedding, there are definite advantages. First of all, who doesn’t love to see kids really breaking it down on the dance floor? There are also other upsides to a child-inclusive wedding.
Friends you don’t see as often now that they’re on the mommy/daddy track may be more likely to come. Babysitters are expensive, so any event where kids are allowed increases the odds of attendance for some parents.
Score points with relatives and new in-laws and opt for kid attendants at your wedding (ring bearer, flower girl, etc.).
Weddings are typically family affairs, and families often involve children. As with any plan involving family, couples must be sensitive to feelings and perceptions when including children. If the bride’s young cousin is a ring bearer, ask the groom’s niece to be a flower girl.
Have clear rules when you are deciding which kids will have a role at or be invited to your wedding. Asking some kids (such as the ring bearer and flower girl) but not others is an option. In most cases, people will understand why these children but not all are welcome to celebrate at the reception.
Attendees will be especially well-disposed toward child attendants partying at the reception if both sides of the family are represented. Whatever rules you decide on about which kids make the guest list, be sure you stick to them. You will avoid hurting guests’ feelings if you avoid exceptions.
During the ceremony, remember the old saying: idle hands are the devil’s plaything.
Give young kids a role and tell them it’s important; they will be more likely to behave. Not every kid needs to be a flower girl or ring-bearer. Job options for kids can include usher, junior bridesmaid, or program/favor/bubble/rice/rose petal distributor.
The same rules for keeping kids busy apply at the reception. Occupied kids are much less likely to poke their noses (or fingers) in where they don’t belong. Research ideas for kids’ tables at wedding receptions; non-messy crafts and activities are a good idea.
If you’re not a kid person or don’t have a lot of kids in your family/friend group, that’s fine. A kid-free wedding is always a viable option.
First of all, make the “no kid” call early on in the wedding planning process. You will eliminate an avalanche of questions from the parents on your guest lists, thereby avoiding a lot of anxiety.
One consideration that will also provide a convenient rationale to any miffed parents is the time of day of the wedding. Bedtimes exist for a reason. Very few young children can reliably stay up past their bedtime and remain on their best behavior.
An evening wedding ceremony and/or reception may not be fair to anyone: the couple, guests, or the kids themselves. For some children, inviting them to a formal evening wedding is setting them up for failure. Everyone might end up cranky due to a circumstance largely outside an overtired kid’s control.
Time is a practical consideration. Maybe you love kids and plan to have kids at your wedding, but also want a formal soiree. You may want to rethink one or the other for the good of everyone involved.
Be sure the wording on your invitation clearly reflects whether the kids are included. If you decide no kids at the wedding, an invitation addressed to “The Smith Family” may not make that clear. Put the name of each person you are inviting on the invitation.
Inside and outside envelopes for wedding invitations were made for situations like these. Parents’ names go on the outside of the envelope, and each invited family member’s name appears on the inside envelope. Adult children over eighteen whether or not they still live at home should receive their own invitation.
If you have questions about the best kind of wedding experience for your needs, contact Adagio DJ Entertainment. Our list of recommended vendors includes wedding consultants who can help keep you organized. You will especially appreciate the extra expertise if you have lots of little helpers running around on your special day!
Adagio DJ Entertainment offers a range of services from dance instruction, to mood lighting, to live music and disc jockeys. Let us match you with the right vendors for your formal, adult-only wedding or your lively kid-friendly ceremony.
413 Wacouta Street, Suite 100
Saint Paul, MN 55101
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